I'm going to Chicago TOMORROWWWWWW!!!


That is all.

Does anyone even read this?

Probably not. That's okay. I don't really care. It let's me write things out that are just sort of swimming around in my mind. [and, I get to do all of these cheesy surveys that I know that people really hate, but that I love to do. bahaha.]

One thing I've got to say is that with everything that's happened recently I've sort of realized how unimportant other people's opinions of me are. Who gives a rat's ass what if people don't like me. Haha. I'm so over it all.

Are promises important to you?
Very. Very, very, very.

Who was the last person to tell you they loved you?
Mama.

Ever been in love?
A long time ago.

Has a tragedy ever happened in your life?
Yes.

Are you happy?
Yes.

Have you ever seen your own bone?
That's a BIG negative.

When's the last time you spoke to your last ex?
About two days ago.

What is more important, happiness or trust?
Trust leads to happiness. Or it can, anyway.

Did anything "cute" happen today?
Erm? I don't know.

Who all do you have texts from on your phone?
Emily. Tammy. Mama. That's pretty much it right now.

Any favorite shows?
NCIS. Psych. Friday Night Lights.

Have you had a friend for many years and then they left just like that?
Yes. Oh, yes.

How loud do you listen to your music?
Not too loud.

Are you really going to dread this week?
NO! I'm going to CHICAGO to see my BESTFRIEND. =].

Favorite food?
Seafood.

Have you ever gone to court?
No.

Do you take walks often?
Everyday.

What were you doing at 1 am this morning?
Sleeping.

Does someone have your heart?
My dog, Jake. =].

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
I'm going to Chicago in less than TWODAYSSSS.

What do you do when you need to relax?
Sleep. Listen to music. Write.

What are you listening to right now?
Amos Lee. He's sort of all I've been listening to.

What was the last thing you purchased?
Water.

Are you looking forward to anything?
Bahhhh.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?
In person: Daddy. Other means: Mark Bailey.

What did you do last night?
Chatted with my mother.

What were you doing at 7 am?
Sleeping.

Last time you were truly happy with your life?
That moment when I found out I was cast in Eclipsed. That was a really wonderful moment. But, I also think there have been a few moments since then. I mean, I'm a generally happy person.

Do you like anyone right now?
This question urks me. I like a of people, but I don't think that is how the question is meant.

Ever had your heart broken?
Yes.

Miss anyone right now?
So much. So so so much.

Who was the last person you sent a text to?
Emily.

Last person to text you?
Tammy.

Last person you saw?
My mother.

What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Just let me know when you want to do the cookies." To my mother.

Who do you love most?
My mother, father, my aunts and uncle, my godparents, and my best friends.

How many good friends do you have?
Hmm. Well, I have two BEST friends. But, I would say I probably have about 10, in addition to these two, good friends.

Are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?
So many.

Ever been told by someone they loved you?
Yes.

Ever told someone you loved them and meant it?
Yes.

Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now?
I'm single. And, wonderfully happy.

Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love?
Always.

Have you ever woke up next to someone and were freaked out?
No.

Has any one said they loved you today?
Mama.

What are you wearing on your feet?
Chacos.

How many times do you talk on the phone a day on average?
One. If that. I text so much more.

Do you usually have weird dreams?
All the time. Like today when I took a nap.

Do you like your bed?
I do. Very much.

What are you thinking about right now?
This annoying headache that will not go away.

What color is your keyboard?
White.

Marriage in your future?
Probably not. But, a small part of me hopes so, just so I can have bridesmaids. Hahaha.

How has this past week been for you?
It's been all right, I'd say.

What song is stuck in your head?
Careless by Amos Lee.

Will this weekend be a good one?
OHH yes. I'll be in CHICAGO.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Sure.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Gap.

How long does it take you to shower?
5-10. 15 tops.

Is the last person you hugged older than you?
Yes.

Has anyone gotten on your nerves lately?
Ha! Hahaha. Yeah, but I'm over it now.

Last night, did you fall asleep smiling?
Ehh. I mean, I wasn't upset, but I wouldn't say I was smiling, either.

Are you afraid of change?
I used to be. But, now it's so nice.

Does your family own a business?
No.

Is a bestfriend/boy/girl or ex pissing you off at the moment?
No. Not this moment.

Are you in a good mood right now?
I'm not in a bad mood.

Are you on medication for anything?
Nah.

Who woke you up today?
My alarm.

How's your hair today?
Fine.

What time did you wake up this morning?
9am.

What is on your bed right now?
Blankets and pillows.

Anything hurting?
My head.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Sure.

Are you wearing a necklace?
Yes.

You're a sharpie marker, what color are you?
Sliver. Duh. =].

How many months until your birthday?
ONE! Oh my goodness.

Who was the last person you were on the phone with after 12 am?
Oh, Emily, maybe?

Have you ever hugged a complete stranger?
Sure.

Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?
This question is so hard for me, because it depends on who I think is the person who hurt me the most. One did. One never will.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
I have no idea.

Are you wasting your time on someone?
Nope. I am not.

Last thing that made you cry?
Life. My mother and I got into an argument earlier today.

Do you have a bad temper?
Ha. You know it.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
We'll see.

Do you REALLY love all your family?
Not all of them, no.

What do you want to believe in?
Love.

You're dying in 10 seconds, what are your last words to your best friend?
You were my best friend. I need you to know that I loved you so much.

To your worst enemy?
I'm sorry we had our differences.

Do you care if people hate you?
Of course not. I know several people who do.

Has a song ever made you cry?
Sure.

A book ever made you cry?
You know it.

Is the world crumbling to pieces?
No.

Name one moment where you couldn't control your rage?
Ha. I don't really like to think about that. It sort of hurts.

Did you have good day yesterday?
Yes, I did.

Last time you were embarrassed?
When my dog tried to attack three people within 15 minutes. Geez, Jake.

What are you doing today?
I went to VCU today to eat lunch with the Dannnyboy. Then, I shopped a bit with my mom. Then I took a nap for a longtime. Then I woke up and ate dinner. Now I'm sitting here.

What do you feel like doing?
Running. I think I will.

Any last words?
I'm going to run now.


[So, the first time I did this survey, I did it on Facebook, and I had done something that weekend, like gone somewhere... I could tell by answers in the survey, but I can't for the life of me remember what I did or where I went. Sad.]

This was cool, actually.

1. I've come to realize that my hair:
may be short but, that I actually like it now.

2. I've come to realize that when I talk:
I sometimes don't make sense. Haha.

4. I've come to realize that all I really need:
to be in Chicago with my bestfriend.

5. I've come to realize that I've lost:
some pride. Which is actually a good thing.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when:
people are immature and only pretend to care.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk:
I'm probably not going to be drunk... so, this doesn't really work.

8. I've come to realize that money:
is something I have not.

9. I've come to realize that when I get old:
I will love myself.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be:
someone who loves her family and best friends more that life itself.

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on:
Taylor Kitsch. Although, this isn't really news. I mean, he's just so hot... bahaha.

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried:
was about two minutes ago.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone:
is downstairs. Damn.

14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:
it's always too early.

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night:
I have to be perfectly comfortable.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
this annoying headache that just came out of nowhere. =/.

17. I've come to realize that my life:
is changing constantly.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook:
I'm a little dependent. Which is why I'm taking a facebook fast for two weeks starting Saturday.

19. I've come to realize that today I will:
probably not really get anything of importance done.

20. I've come to realize that tonight I will:
sleep. Haha.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
be going to D.C. to visit my grandma and Jim Sweeny! [and also to be closer to the airport for when I leave for Chicago on Saturday!!]

22. I've come to realize that I really want to:
tell everyone my story. But, I can't.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this:
is non-existent.

24. I've come to realize relationships:
are something I'm allergic to.

25. I've come to realize love:
is the greatest thing you'll ever find.

26. I've come to realize my best guy friend:
[enter empty blank stare here]

27. I've come to realize my best girl friend:
is my soulmate. She is truly a lifelong/life changing friend.

28. I've come to realize food:
and I have a strange relationship.

29: I've come to realize that summer:
is a time for me to learn about myself.

30. I've come to realize heartbreak:
is part of life.

31. I've come to realize that my ex:
is probably taking a picture of something somewhere.

32. I've come to realize that my brother:
is not real.

33. I've come to realize that crying:
is something I do a lot.

34. I've come to realize that death:
is not really the end of the road.

35. I've come to realize that if I'm sick:
all I should is sleep.

36. I've come to realize when I'm bored:
I don't really do anything to change that. Bah.

I cried today.

Okay. Well, I cry almost once a day, but that's just sort of how I am. It doesn't really have to be about anything. I can be watching a TV and bawl, or be reading a book and breakdown, or hear a song and become a blubbering fool. So, basically, I'm a crier, but usually it's about silly mundane things that normal people would probably not even be moved by. But, I mean, whatever, this is who I am.

But, today. I really cried. It's the first time in a while that I've just sort of let all of my emotions loose and let go. I have so many little things going on that I suppose what happened is what Emily calls the "burned bagel effect." I spilled my cereal this morning and that was sort of the last straw. I lost it. I sat down on the kitchen floor and cried. I cried for about a half an hour. It was actually a really good thing, I think. It's one of those cathartic moments that everyone needs once and a while.

I cried because I needed to. I cried because I realize that I can't change somethings, but in my crying I realized I don't need to change them.

When I was done crying [I suppose it was that sort of in-between feeling normal and trying not to burst into tears again], I stood up off the floor and I did feel better. Sometimes an epic cry is what it takes to realize that your life is actually better off that in would be if you actually had/could have/could change/whatever you were crying about.

It's in those moments when I realize that I can't change things that it's okay to let go. I let go and I let live [haha, yes, I did just type that]. And, to be honest, I think it's because I do release my emotions like this that I'm able to not have any regrets. Life's too short to wonder what could have been.

Well, I have to do some majorrr laundry since I'm leaving for Chicago in THREE DAYS! Bah! So, I'm going to roll-bounce.

Love love.

SAC

today was great.

So, once Danny was done with class and work, he and I decided we were going to do Richmond. Like tourists. It was pretty wonderful. So we drove out to Church Hill [mom and Schroeder met us there, but then didn't come anywhere else with us] and went to St. John's Church which is where Patrick Henry gave his "Give me liberty or give me death" speech. We did the tour and watched the reenactment. It was fun. I love history so much sometimes... I felt like a big nerd. So, then we moved from one war to the other and went to Oregon Hill, which is a Civil War era neighborhood, and the houses were SO cool. We did the walking tour and it was neat. Then we went over to Hollywood Cemetery where all these random people are buried like Jefferson Davis and his ENTIRE family. It's HUGE so we were there for three hours. Intense. But so much fun. Then we were starving so we went to the Slip and ate at Bottom's Up, which was, of course, amazing. Then on the way back to this house we saw this hole in the wall gelato place, so we stopped and got some. It was pretty fantastic.

So, today was probably one of the best days I've had since I got here, aside from the fourth which was amazing.

Bahhh. I'm getting so excited about Chicagooooo. Less than four days now! Bahhh. Oh my goodness. I cannot wait to spend a week with my bestfriend. Haha. I think I might be a little overly excited. Haha.

So, this summer has been such a learning time in my life. I've definietly learned a lot about myself. I've learned what I need in order to be happy. I've learned that I need to clear my mind of any sort of negative thoughts, and with that clear my life of any sort of negative forces. I've learned who my life long friends will be and I've learned who won't. Some things have been hard and some things have been beyond amazing. Ha! I've learned so much and there's still a month and half of summer. Wonderful. I love this time in my life.

Also, I have to say that I'm so happy, finally, that I've figured out what I want to do with my life. It's only taken me five majors and not enjoying a single one of them to realize that I probably just should have gone to culinary school to begin with. I've found that I really am beyond happy when I'm cooking, when I'm the one serving, when I'm the one in charge in the kitchen [haha! I promise it's really not a power thing!]. I love it. Why couldn't I have know this three and half years ago? I suppose it really doesn't matter now. I know, and I'm going to do it. =]. Yay for stains on my shirt and grease on my face. It's love.

Well, I don't have anything really profound to say. Sorry.

Out, then.

Love love.

SAC

This is me waiting for Danny to get back from the library.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
I have no idea. I don't really think so. I guess it depends on what the feeling is.

Are you listening to music right now?
Tyrone Wellssss. =]

What drink did you last consume?
Water.

What did you do last night?
Went to the movies with Mama & Linda. =].

Did anything exciting happen today?
Not too much, yet.

Do you get cranky when you're hungry?
Ehh. No.

When was the last time you wore black pants?
The day I bought my car. What day was that? [Wow, I'm sort of upset I know this.] It was Monday of the week I was home. June something.

Would you be surprised if your parents had another baby together?
Yeah, because it's not possible.

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?
I mean, I talk to him sometimes still.

Has your last ex moved on?
I hope so.

Have you ever told anyone you loved them and meant it?
Yes. My family and bestfriends.

How long can you go without your phone?
Ha. I suppose I could live without it if I had to.

Do you like school?
Nooooo.

Do you watch tv a lot?
No. NCIS is pretty much it.

What about a S?
What about an S?

When's the last time you colored your hair?
Haha. I think it was that same day with the car and the black pants. How funny.

Is it easy to annoy you?
Ehh. It depends, really.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?
OH YES. Whatever, people think what they want.

Who was the first person to break your heart?
Ha.

Who did you last pinky promise with?
Bahaha. I think it was Mia, actually.

Do you believe in perfect?
I believe God is perfect.

Are there certain things that can't be joked about with you?
Yes.

Your ex calls you, what do you say?
"Hi. How's life?"

When were you on the phone last and with who?
Uhh, like an hour ago? Danny.

What are you excited for?
CHICAGOOOO. Fourdaysfourdaysfourdays!!!

Do you find it hard to trust others?
Yes.

I bet you miss someone today?
You are correct.

Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
I'm okay, yes.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
I have.

What pissed you off last?
HA! HAHAHA! Ohhhh, boy.

What were you doing at 4am?
I was asleep.

Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
Ehh. Not so much. I'm not entirely done getting dressed.

Is there someone in your life that can always make you smile?
Yes. My godfather.

Anywhere you'd rather be right now?
Chicago. At the VCU library [bah! how lame is that?].

Does anyone love you?
I hope so.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
No.

Missing someone you shouldn't be?
No, I don't think so.

Who's the biggest whore you know?
BAHAHAHAHA. Oh, man.

Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Yes. But, it's whatev. Life is too short.

Do you think two people can last forever?
Yes.

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment?
Yes, actually.

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile?
Taylor Kitsch. Bahaha. Oh, man. Even though I don't actually know him... What can I say? Boy is hot.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?
No. Not at all.

Is there a night you would like to put on repeat, and live it forever?
I used to. But, that night doesn't really mean anything anymore. So, no, not yet.

Are you cheating on someone right now?
Negative.

Anyone of the opposite sex been on your mind lately?
Taylor Kitsch, since I just answered that question about him. Hahaha.

When is the next time you'll hug someone?
Probably in a little bit. When I go downstairs.

Are you nice to everyone?
No.

Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friends?
I have.

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
Hmmm. Cody Fox. I miss him. I don't know that there needs to be "fixing" so much as reconnecting.

What is your biggest regret?
I don't have one.

Have you kissed more than ten people so far this year?
That's insane.

You're thinking about someone, aren't you?
Still Taylor Kitsch, actually. Bahaha.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
I'm ALIVE! =].

Has anyone said they loved you today?
My mama.

Is there one person you love more than anyone?
Yes.

Have you ever woke up next to someone and were creeped out?
No.

Who's the biggest douche bag you know?
Bahahahahaha. Oh my goodness. Probably... Sean Saunders. I sort of hate him.

Are you mad about anything?
Nah.

Are you planning on going to college?
I'm in college. It sucks.

Are you currently reading a book?
I am.

If someone looked ON your bed, what would they find?
Pillows. Blankets. Me.

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
I have no idea.

Is there someone you liked so much and nothing ever happened?
Hahaha. Story of my life.

Ready for winter to come?
No no no.

If you were given $1,000,000 what would you do?
Give it to MSF.

What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
Hmm. I don't know. Not too much has really happened yet.

Who was the last person you have a missed call from?
Danny.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
Yes.

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
I don't know.

Do you still talk to any of your ex's?
Yes. One.

What time did you get up this morning and why?
10. Danny called me.

Do you wear flip-flops during the winter?
Yes! Always.

Do you love where you live?
Not in Rome, no.

How fast do you get over things?
It depends on what it was. Really. There are so many varying levels.

Can you say you honestly don't have any feelings for the last person that texted you?
I mean, she's my bestfriend. I love her.

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
It's not a person. It's my dog Jake. And, he's here with me. =].

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn't meant to be funny?
Oh yeah.

Have you ever slapped someone in the face?
Bahaha. Yes. It's wonderful.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed?
I could.

Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends"?
Sure.

Do you think things will change in the next few months?
Oh yes.

Are any of your texts in your inbox locked and why?
Yes. Because they are either really wonderful or really funny.

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
I don't know. I can't foresee it being one way or the other.

The one person who has hurt you the most says they love you, you say?
This question is so hard, because it depends on what I define as the person who hurt me the most.

Are you wearing something you borrowed from someone?
I am not.

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?
NO.

When you meet someone you like, do you fall in love fast?
No. I don't even like people quickly.

Ever receive a really long apology?
Yes.

Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
Hahahahaha. Oh, man. Last summer Dames & I did. It was terrible.

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
I would say they aren't NOT running smoothly.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
Ha.

What type of day are you having?
Fine.

Was there anyone who "made your day" today?
Eh? I guess Em. I got a sweet text from her.

What is the last movie you watched?
Away We Go. AMAZING.

Who was the last person you hugged?
Mama.

What did you wear today?
I'm going to wear Jeans and a tank.

What are you planning to do tomorrow?
No idea.

Do you mind being cold?
It depends.

Did you sleep in passed noon today?
No.

Does anyone disgust you?
Yes.

Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to?
No. Not really.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
Sure.

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
I have no idea. It's possible, I suppse.

Does it bother you when people respond to a text with one word?
Well, it depends on if what I asked requires more than one word.

Are you wearing any makeup right now?
No way. Who wears make-up? Not me.

What did you do Friday?
Trader Joe's. Whole Foods. Ukrop's. Basically, we had a grocery store tour of Richmond. Bahaha.

Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions?
It depends.

Do you like red bull?
NOOO.

Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
Loud. Ha.

When is your birthday?
August 10thhhhh.

What color shirt are you wearing?
White and green.

Who is the last person that made you smile?
The Dan-miesterrrr.

Would you kiss the last person who texted you?
No. She's female.

Are you one of those people who never drink soda?
I am, actually.

What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Brushed my teeth.

Would you consider adoption?
No.

Think back five months ago, were you single?
Yes.

Does anyone call you babe?
My mother.

Where's your phone right now?
Table.

How do you feel about girls smoking?
It sort of depends on what they are smoking.

Does anyone think you are an asshole?
I suppose. I don't know that I've ever been called that.

You think "I love you" are strong words?
They can be.

Does it bother you when people get drunk?
Sort of.

Do you like hugs or kisses?
Whichever.

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Sure.

What time will you be getting up tomorrow morning?
I have no idea. Probably 9 or 10.

Is this the best year of your life?
Ehh. Nah. That was probably 1995 when I was small and nothing mattered.

Do you trust all of your friends?
No. I trust my close bestfriends.

Do you believe what comes around goes around?
A form of it.

Have you ever cried from being so mad?
More times than I can count.

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. ~Steven Kloves

Sometimes I think things are going to finally be different. I'm going to wake up and all that's happened will just disappear. I'll be that person I was before this all happened.

But, I'm always wrong. And, I always have hard days. But, I think the hard days are what make me who I am. If everything disappeared and I went back to the person I was before, I wouldn't be Sarah Countryman anymore. I'd be someone completely different.

I am so thankful for a friend who's taught me that even though things can suck and people can do horrible things to other people, it is the things and people that make a person who they are. The strength they can find in the pain they feel can make them a stronger and better person than the people who wronged them.

So, as much as I hurt, I can look past the pain and see the light on the other side. I will have hard days, but they will pass. And, each time I will come out of it a better person. Each time I will grow even more into the person that I am.

Whoa. I just got epic. I do that sometimes.

Anyway, today is a lazy day. It's kind of nice, actually. I feel like we've been running around a lot. Tonight we're eating at The Village. I'm excited. Best restaurant in Richmond, thankyouverymuch. =].

That's all.

Love love.

SAC.

Edit;

I forgot! Danny is coming to D.C with us on Friday so he can come to the airport on Saturday to see me off. =]. This makes me happy.