Fourth things today.

I'm excited. Yay for food, fun, and fireworkkkksss! I love love love fireworks. After the cookout we're going to Chesterfield to see the fireworks there! Whoo.

Plus, I'm pretty sure Danny and I are going to run around like 8-year-olds in Gary's sprinkler at some point... maybe late tonight. Because we're just cool like that. Haha!

I love days like this. I wish every day of summer was like this.

So many great people to celebrate with. My parents. Linda and Schroeder. My Godparents. And, Danny's family is in town, so they're celebrating with us. =]. His parents are super.

=].

Amos Lee can make anyone feel better. =]. Also, I'm lame.

It's true.

Think back to your child hood...who was your first real crush?
Alex Green. I was four. I was going to tell him but D.J. Voils ruined everything. Bahaha. I'll never forget that.

Do you think you're weird or normal?
I'm a pretty big weirdo... but, I suppose it depends on what you define normal as.

Do you think of someone a lot?
I think about my friends a lot.

Is that someone close to you?
My friends are, yes.

How often do you text?
Too much.

Ever liked someone to the point you wanted to marry them?
No.

Does someone have a special ringtone on your phone?
No. Everyone is equal in my phone. =].

How late do you stay up texting?
No.

Is there something wrong in your life?
Nah. Just the usual suspects.

Do you make friends easily?
Ehh. Sometimes.

Do you socialize easily?
Again, sometimes.

Have you dated someone from your child hood? Who?
Uhh. Well, I guess Travis. But, I don't know if what we did was dating. We had our parents take us to the movies. And go with us. Bahaha. Hey, we were in 3rd grade.

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
My dog, Jake. He's downstairs. =].

Do you have a brother?
No.

Anything you are looking forward to?
Chicago! Goodness.

Last time you talked to an ex?
A while ago.

Where were you last night?
Ginter with Garrrryyy. Then home.

Are you in a good mood right now?
I'm okay.

Would you say that it can be super difficult being a teenager?
No. It's only difficult if there are circumstances that make it that way. Otherwise, the normal teenager really shouldn't have it that bad.

Did you/do you enjoy it?
Being a teenager? Well... there was a whole lot going on in my teenage years, so no, but the being a teenager thing really had nothing to do with what was going on.

What are you currently wearing?
A tank and running shorts.

Do you prefer shorts or jeans?
What time of year is it?

What is your favorite pair of shoes?
My chacos.

What color are your finger nails?
They aren't.

Do they match anything your're wearing?
...

Studded belts?
Bahah.

What is your passion?
Cooking. Writing.

Is dying your latest fashion?
Dying? No.

If you could only drink one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
Water.

What about if you could only eat one thing?
Green Peppers. =].

Are you like me and can't function without sleep?
Who are you?

What color is your hair?
Blonde.

What color are your eyes?
Grey.

What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
Yogurt and granola with raspberries. =].

Do you have any piercings?
Eight.

Do you want anymore piercings?
No no.

Are you doing laundry right now?
Nah.

Do you ever accidentally bite your tongue?
All the time. Guhh.

Has anyone ever written you a song?
Yes.

What does the shirt you are wearing look like?
It's green.

Where were you at 2:22 this morning?
Sleeping.

Have you ever had a really good girlfriend?
Like a bestfriend? I have one of those now.

Are you holding anything in your hand right now?
Nah.

Do you like horror movies?
Negative, captain.

Are you wearing socks?
Yes.

Have you ever dyed your hair?
Like a billion times.

What is your favorite thing about the beach?
The water.

When was the last time you completely broke down?
Uhh. Monday, I think. The book I was reading really hit home.

Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?
Speech.

Is it hard for you to be happy for someone else?
No.

Do you have a child?
No no no.

What are you doing right now other then being on the computer?
Listening to Amos Lee's godly voice.

How often do you honestly cry?
All the time. I'm a crier. I cry when someone is nice to me. Not really, but it's almost that bad.

Who last said "I love you" to you?
Hmm. Gary, I think.

Is there someone on your mind that really shouldn't be there?
No.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Tea.

Have any recent regrets?
I don't regret things. I can't change what's in the past, so why is it worth it to dwell on it?

Is the last person you texted single?
No. She's married to my father.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Green.

Favorite character on iCarly?
I've never even heard of that.

Pet peeves?
Ha. I can think of a few.

Where is your cell phone?
On the table.

Was last night terrible?
Nah.

What is your current mood?
I'm okay.

Has anyone ever done mean things to you while you were sleeping?
Danny. Jerk.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
No.

How many texts do you send a day?
Way too many.

Closest blue object?
My bag.

Do you look decent when you wake up?
My hair's so short, it's not to easy for me.

What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?
There was that time I burned down a barn.

Which is better, and orange or an apple?
Apple.

What your opinion on rated R movies?
It's whatev.

Do you like meeting new people?
Sometimes.

What color is your room?
Home it's yellow. Here it's white.

What should you be doing?
Whatever.

First thought this morning?
"I should get up now."

Last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Read.

Who was the last person to call you?
Mother.

Is there anything you miss?
I miss my friends.

What will you be doing in 8 years?
Either working in a restaurant, or working my own.

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
There is.

Anyone you're giving up on?
No.

Do you ever get good morning texts from anyone?
I got two this morning! One from Em and one from Dames.

Do you find it in your heart to forgive?
I do.

Who was the last person who called you?
Already asked?

Who was the last person who texted you?
Mama.

How many numbers are in your phone book?
No idea.

Will you get married?
I don't know.

Are you wearing socks?
I am.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
I do.

When is your next vacation going to be?
I guess I'm sort of on it now. The next part of my vacation will be on July 11th when I go to Chicagoooo!

Have you talked to a complete jerk today?
I suppose Danny counts. Haha.

If you looked out the nearest window, what would you see?
The road.

When you're walking, do you stop to drink?
No.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
I don't really think that works.

Ever snuck out of your house?
All the time when I was younger.

Kill or Be killed?
Be killed. I could never kill someone.

Break someone’s heart or have your heart broken?
Have my heart broken. I don't want to ever do that to someone.

What did you do today?
Whole Foods! =].

Would you ever get a tattoo?
I have three.

What was the last thing you ate?
String cheese. I'm cool like that.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night. To the max.

Do you snore?
No no.

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
Yes.

What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body?
Scream.

Do you like to spend time with people?
I do.

Are you hungry?
Not at all.

When was the last time you did the dishes?
Yesterday.

What are you about to do?
Nothing.

Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
Funny thing, really...

Your name plus "ness"?
Why?

Three feelings at the moment?
Tired. Sore. Tired.

Done anything you regret so far in life?
No.

Are you listening to anything?
Amos Lee.

Where are you right now?
My room. In Richmond.

What are you scared of?
Heights.

Last movie you watched?
Transformers 2. Lame.

Last song you sang out loud?
"Ain't Gonna Be Your Fool" by Amos Lee.

Are you thinking of someone right now?
My mother, because she just called me.

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
See above.

Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
Skype. That was a while ago though...

Have you changed much this year?
More so that ever before.

Where was the last place you went besides where you are?
Walgreen's.

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Nope.

Do you speak any other language?
Spanish, a little.

Do you dress for style or comfort?
Both, I guess. More so comfort.

Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
No no.

What's the craziest thing you've done?
I once drove down Stretch at about 90 in the middle of the night with Christy.

Favorite color(s)?
Yellow.

What is your favorite Nickelback song?
I hate Nickelback.

What are you looking forward to this summer?
Chicago. My birthday.

Last time you smiled?
Earlier, maybe.

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?
This may be cheesy, but world peace.

Sometimes I share things I write. Only sometimes though.

The garden was overtaking her soul. She felt it encasing her, but she didn't fight it. Her heart was too weak. Her soul was too broken. Maybe she'd just get lost in the garden for a while.

Walking through this garden she let herself go. She sat down in the middle of some flowerbed filled with wonderful flowers with a name she couldn't say and took in the beautiful scent. She breathed heavily until her breathing became hard, long, loud sobs. She cried for everything in her life that she saw falling apart around her. She cried because she didn't feel like she was strong enough to handle this by herself, but couldn't bear to ask for help. She cried because she need to cry.

Overcome by the crying and the intensity of the moment she collapsed on to her back among the flowers. She closed her eyes and thought of what life was like when she was a small child. Easy and carefree. Nothing ever went wrong. She never needed to pretend like everything was okay when it really wasn't. She wanted nothing more than to go back to being a child again. She wanted to be a child and she wanted to lay in the garden forever. The flowers were her only friends. They didn't care if she made a fool of herself crying until she couldn't breath. They didn't judge her. They didn't look at her and think, "Oh, that poor soul," like everyone else. They let her be.

It wasn't until she woke up and it was dark outside that she even realized she'd fallen asleep in the flowerbed. Instead of moving--getting up and going inside--she stayed put. She stared up at the night sky and took in the stars. They were so captivating. It was almost like they were staring back at her. She wondered if they could see into the inner workings of her soul. She wondered if people who looked at her could see the inner workings of her soul. These days she didn't look people in the eye. If someone looked her in the eye, they'd be able to see that the smile on her face was a facade and that the truth was that her soul was broken into a million pieces. If the stars could see her broken soul, they didn't let on. They just shined and smiled at her. They made her smile, and for the first time in weeks, it wasn't a fake smile. She was really smiling. Her smile became a slight laugh which continued to grow until she was laughing so loudly she was sure that the whole neighborhood could hear her. She laughed until she cried, but this time they weren't painful tears, they were happy tears. Good tears. When she could finally breathe again, she stood up and stretched. As she stretched she felt something about her shift; something emotional.

She was free. Free from all of the pain that had been so overwhelming she could barely function. Free from the judgment of others--she knew it didn't matter what anyone thought about her. Free from her own brokenness. She was whole and she was free. She smiled and walked away from the flowers that had saved her soul, and looked up at the stars that had made her whole.

Schroeder and Linda are here.

Life is good.

Ginter Gardens tomorrow. [Actually, tonight, since it's 1:04am]. I'm excited. They are my favorite.

I love it here. And, now that I have people I love here with me, it's even more amazing. I could move here now. I really could.

Also, I had a grand chat with Emily tonight. It was good.

9 days until I see her smiling face waiting for me at the airport. It will be a good day.

That's all.

Love love.

SAC

I am ready for it to be July 11th.
I am ready to see my best friend.





I am ready for this to be easy.

From Ross and Amber's Wedding.

A couple of pictures from the New Year's Wedding I went to of me and my father dancing that make me so happy.



This picture makes my life.


My hair! It was so short!

"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again." -Maya Angelou.

Since it's my favorite game.

Old pictures time.

Me and Ellen Willis on our way to Six Flags Senior year of high school.


World Changers. Summer 2006. Lynley, Cody, Me. We were being models or something. Oh, and my hair has a lot of pink in it here.


Me and Benny in Senior year. I think it was the last day of classes.


This picture takes the cake for being the oldest one yet on the blog. Dun dun dun. This is from SOPHOMORE year of high school. Man. That was so long ago. It's from the drama banquet at the end of the year, and it's of me and my friend Chloe'.


This one is from Graduation. Christy, me, and Mandi Mathis. I look like a boy in this picture.


Oh, it's fun.