Emo post.

It happens.

This week has been crappy. Not all of it. There have been some things that were good, like good friends who send inspiring text messages and hold your hand when you cry, but for the most part it was pretty craptastic.

It just sucks, because last week was so wonderful.

Things were strange. Starting Monday. I could sort of sense it. Wednesday, it was worse. Homework got heavy on Wednesday. Then it just stayed and weighed me down. Thursday was sort of odd. Too much work, but not bad work, fun work, just a lot of work. Today was good. Until. But then got better thanks to Em. But, still that Until. I'm dwelling, I know I am.

Sigh.

Not much else to say.

I told two people my story today. It felt good, but odd. Especially the first person. The second person. I need to tell them. It was important.

I know what I want.

I want to write. A lot.
I want to sing a the top of my lungs.
I want to look at the stars.
I want to go to Africa and save people. Live and be with them.
I want to own a restaurant where I serve only natural foods.
I want to live efficiently in a house that I built and that uses only solar power.
I want to live close to my best friends.
I want to never be without them, even if they do live far away.
I want to own a pair of Vibram Five-Finger shoes.
I want to be able to be in nature whenever I want to, whether that's hiking or camping or simply sitting under a tree.
I want Faulkner to make sense to me.
I want to run in a field and pick wildflowers and lay under the afternoon sun.
I want long hair again.
I want to be in Richmond, VA.
I want to be in Chattanooga, TN.
I want to be Chicago, IL.
I want to be in NYC.
I want to be able to travel many places before I die.
I want equal rights for everyone.
I want to stay up all night laughing and smiling with people I love.
I want to sleep all day and watch movies and eat popcorn all night.
I want to get caught outside in the rain.
I want to hold your hand.
I want to be able to tell you everything. Everything I feel about you, everything I see in you, everything you are to me.
I want to smile all the time.
I want you to smile all the time with me.
I want to laugh until I cry.
I want to feel love like I've never felt it before.
I want to scream so loud China can hear me.
I never want to be numb. I always want to feel no matter what, even if it's pain.
I want to feel butterflies.
I want to hold butterflies in my hands.
I want to be wanted.
I want to be needed.
I want to run on a beach and run into the water and feel it on my face.
I want my parents to live forever. I know they won't. They will in my heart.
I want to see every movie ever made.
I want to believe everyone has the capacity to believe in peace and that everyone has the capacity to make peace happen through love.
I want to save the Earth. It's so beautiful.
I want my dog to always sleep on the bed with me. I feel alone without him there.
I want to eat granola and fruit all the time.
I want to speak Spanish fluently.
I want to love myself more.
I want to be happy.
I want to be happy.