Creatively inept.

I wish I was creative. Sometimes I think I am, sometimes I think, "Hey, that was a good story" or "I think this may actually be worthy of having other people read it," which, you know, may be the case, but nonetheless, most of the time, I keep it to myself. I wonder why I do that. I suppose my writing can't really ever get better unless it's out there in the world to gain feedback, right? But, I'm really not all that creative. The stories I write are all really the same story told over and over in different ways. Silly Sarah, why can't you branch out and write something new? Hmm. I wonder if I should just write nonfiction. Maybe I should write about social issues things? I'm fairly good at speaking and debating about those things, why couldn't I write about them? But, I love writing fiction. I guess I have a dilemma then. I'm probably better at writing nonfiction, but I love to write fiction. I should take a class. Oh, wait. I'm doing that in the fall. Will it really help to understand what I need to do to improve my fiction writing? My dad seems to think so. I'm funny about that, though. Having someone tell me how to write. I'm okay with criticism after the fact, but having someone tell me how I should write before I do the actual writing... I don't know how I feel about that. Of course, I've not taken the class, so maybe that's not really how it works. Hmmm.

I've recently been writing a lot about myself. Well, not so much about myself, but about things I've done. I've been switching back and forth between first and third person, and I've found that it's really interesting to write about autobiographical experiences from an omniscient perspective. It allows for me to look at the event or whatever it is I'm writing about from a different view. Step back from being the main character of the story and into being the audience watching all the characters in the story. Surprisingly, I remember things I may not have if I write about it in first person. It's enjoyable. It doesn't really make me feel very creative though. Writing about myself is easy. It's writing about other people and inventing their lives I seem to have so much trouble with.

It's not that I think I'm a BAD writer. I mean, I'm aware that I'm no Shakespeare or Salinger, but I can formulate words in to sentences that make sense, and create some story that has a beginning, middle, and end. Sometimes I use big words... sometimes. I feel really accomplished when I do. Hah. Sometimes I do surprise myself and I do write something unusally creative.

I'm hoping that my week alone in Richmond will help. I'll have so much alone/thinking time that I'll HAVE to make up things to keep me entertained. Maybe I'll write something really epic. That would be cool.

Speaking of Richmond. I have a few last minute packing things I need to do, so I must away from this blogging nonsense. I'm not going to have a computer for a week... that's a bit odd, since I won't be able to write my "this is my life, no one cares" blogs I'm so prone to write. But it will be good, I think.

I'll do some writing. Maybe I'll even post it once I have a computer again. We'll see.

Love love.

SAC.