Sometimes I learn things about myself.

And this first night at Dance Concert was definitely one of those times.

I am a nice person. At least I try to be a nice person. Sometimes, as I feel all people do, I fail at this. Tonight, when playing and dealing with my new found power has head dresser, I wasn't so nice. I was kind of bitchy. [As a side note, I was only bitchy with the boys... All the girls were perfectly cordial...]. In my defense, [and I realize how much this probably sounds like I'm being bitchy again] the boys were being loud and annoying. But, instead of remaining calm and collected like I should have, I got a little big headed and sort of yelled at them.

I know four out of the five boys fairly well. The other one I've only met in passing, and I'm sure he didn't even know my name until tonight. And, of course, my super big headed bitchy-ness is now his impression of me. And this upsets me.


Sigh.


I have talked to the four that I know about this, and they all understand and have forgiven me/apologized for their behavior. I kind of want to pull the fifth one aside and apologize to him and try and express to him that I really am generally a nice person, but I sometimes have trouble talking to people I don't know. [I wonder how I make friends... hmmm.]

Aside from this happening, the first dress rehearsal was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. People cooperated and were great about quick changes. I think I may not die after all.

I have a paper due tomorrow. I have less than two pages of what is supposed to be five pages. I think I may cry. Okay not really, but still it's overwhelming. [I know anyone reading this is now saying to themselves "Sarah. Stop writing on your blog and go write the damn paper. Yeah, yeah.] I do have an extensive period of time between my classes tomorrow which is good. I should be able to finish it then.

I have to say. Each day this week I am counting until Friday. Friday is going to be a really good day for me. It is "This is What a Feminist Looks Like" day. Empower is going to have a table in Krannert and we are going to be basically explainign that feminist doesn't necessarily mean bra burning lesbian man-hater. Also! I have a massage! Whoo! And, Damian will be here to watch the DC that night. All around good day.

Anyway. I think that I am going to go to bed now. I should not be awake if I want to be able to function for my 8:30am Spanish Lab.

Blah.

Night.

SAC.