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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Favorite TV show characters.

Okay, so I have ten favorite TV shows:
Eight of them are still on, two aren't.
They are:
1. NCIS.
2. The West Wing.
3. Criminal Minds.
4. Friday Night Lights.
5. ER.
6. Bones.
7. Medium.
8. Ghost Whisperer.
9. NCIS: Los Angeles.
10. CSI: New York.

And, I have a favorite male and female character from each:

They are:
1. NCIS:
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
Now, I know that everyone already knows that I'm madly in love with this man, but here he is again. =].

Abby Sciuto.
Everyone's favorite gothic forensic scientist. Gotta love her.

2. The West Wing:
Josh Lyman.
The Deputy White House Chief of Staff. And a genius.

C.J. Cregg.
The White House Press Secretary, and then after the sad and much too soon death of Leo McGarry, she is The White House Chief of Staff. She's pretty much amazing.

3. Criminal Minds:
Special Agent Derek Morgan.
He's GORGEOUS and brave. What more could you want in a man?

Penelope Garcia.
A computer GENIUS. Also, she and Derek ^ should be together forever. Thanks.

4. Friday Night Lights:
Tim Riggins.
So, here's the thing. His character is actually kind of a duche, but he's played by Taylor Kitsch, so I have to love him. I don't have a choice. Haha. God, he's beautiful.

Tami Taylor.
Soccer...erm...football Mom of the year. This woman can do anything. I love her.

5. ER:
Dr. John Carter.
He has a heart of gold. He went to Darfur and saved millions of lives. I want to BE him. Goodness.

Dr. Neela Rascotra.
She's the coolest, and I'm so glad she ended up with Ray!!

6. Bones:
Dr. Jack Hodgins.
He may play with bugs all day long, but a man with TWO doctoral degrees that looks THAT good?! How could I resist?

Dr. Temperance Brennan.

A.K.A. Bones. I have a major girl crush on this woman. It's sort of embarrassing. But, also wonderful. She's brilliant.

7. Medium:
Joe DuBois.
Not only is he the world's best husband, he's an engineering pioneer.

Bridgette DuBios.
Daughter. Seer. Love her.

8. Ghost Whisperer:
Jim Clancy.
World's second greatest husband. I adore this man. I think I would be okay if he swept me off my feet a few million times. Oh, did I mention he's a firefighter. HOT.

Melinda Gordon.
Unfortunately for me, she's married to Jim. Haha. But, I love her anyway. I may also have a slight girl crush on her, too.

9. NCIS: Los Angeles:
Sam Hanna.
I've got one thing to say about this: "CAUSE I'M L.L. COOL J!" The end.

Hetty Lange.
She's slightly crazy, a pinch of OCD, and whole lot of brilliant. She keeps the team going.

10. CSI: New York.
Danny Messer.
Hard-working and highly attractive. Works for me. He couldn't walk this one time. But, he's so badass, he can again. Yep.

Stella Bonasera.
Just look at this picture. She is EPIC. And awesome.

So that's that.

This was fun.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Sarah's Top Ten Hottest Guys list:

10. Jesse L. Martin. Just look at that face.
He is best known for his role as Detective Ed Green on Law and Order, but he also stars in shows in New York and has an excellent singing voice.

9. Adam Levine. It's the voice that gets me.
He's the lead singer for Maroon 5 and has a voice that is the cure to ailment.

8. Shemar Moore. The body of a Greek God.
Currently starring as Derek Morgan on Criminal Minds, this model turned actor has quite the fanbase.

7. Johnny Depp. He's cliché, but who cares.
He's a versatile, incredibly talented actor who's most recent movie endeavors include The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnasuss and Alice in Wonderland.

6. Taye Diggs. The whole package, baby.
From the big screen to the stage, this talented actor has done several great things during his career. He is known for his role in Rent as well as the part he plays on the show Private Practice.

5. Hugh Jackman. Hey, sexy man.
This gorgeous Australian is known best for his role as Logan in the X-Men movies. He also played Curly in the Broadway revival of Oklahoma.

4. Paul Newman. What can even be said, he's so wonderful?
A mega star who deserved all his titles, this actor was brilliant at what he did. Known for his roles in Cool Hand Luke and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

3. Robert Redford. Every girl's dream boy.
Actor turned brilliant director this man has truly wowed us all. Known for his roles in Jeremiah Johnson and The Natural and for his directorial work on The Legend of Bagger Vance and The Horse Whisperer.

2. Mark Harmon. Jethro Gibbs. The end.
This handsome fellow got his start on the show St. Elsewhere and then did several small movie roles before landing his most famous role as Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs on the number one TV crime drama NCIS.

And finally, ladies and gentlemen, 1. Taylor Kitsch. MY PERFECT MAN.

Best known for his role as Tim Riggins on the show Friday Night Lights, he's also had a fairly successful movie career staring in The Covenant and X-Men Origins: Wolverine as Gambit.

Finally.


I got this in September and I'm just now posting a picture.


Geez.

I want to add to it or get some word under it or something. Something. I don't know.

Imma sleep now.


Sunday, December 27, 2009


Oh, hey buddy.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Sherlock Holmes is AMAZING.

Just btdubs.

Everyone should see it.

Got:

1. From Mama: About five pairs of earrings.
2. Ditto: A scarf-glove set.
3. From Daddy: Paul McCartney live in NYC!!!! <--Favorite!! I love my dad! He knows me so well. It's amazing.
4. Ditto: Il Divo live in Barcalona.
5. From Gary: A homemade ornament.
6. Ditto: A collected works by J.D. Salinger [which I didn't even know existed, but makes me BEYOND happy].
7. From Liz: Two other pairs of earrings.
8. From both parents: A moleskin journal with my name embossed on the front.
9. Ditto: A nice v-neck grey sweater.
10. Ditto: A black and white windowpane print jacket.
11. Ditto: A black blazer that is beautiful.

Then there was the stuff I got for Chanukah that I already got, which was just a bunch of solid colored tees. =].

Good day.

Oh, I love Paul.

Merry Christmas.

I can't sleep. Lots on the mind.

So, I'm watching Stand By Me. Best movie ever.

It makes me smile.

So, the first time I saw this movie, I was like 9. I probably shouldn't have watched it at that age considering the subject matter, but you know--I did.

And, nine-year-old me fell head over heels in love with Gordie LeChance:



Gosh, I love this movie:
Gordie: "Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?"
Vern: "If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy-Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it."
Teddy: "Goofy's a dog. He's definitely a dog."
Gordie: "I knew the $64,000 question was fixed. There's no way anybody could know that much about opera!"
Chris: "He can't be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat."
Gordie: "Wagon Train's a really cool show, but did you notice they never get anywhere? They just keep wagon training."
Vern: "Oh, God. That's weird. What the hell is Goofy?"

Bahahaha. It's love.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Eve times.

1. Real name:
Sarah.
2. Nickname(s):
SacMan. SAC. SC.
3. Zodiac sign:
Leo.
4. Male or female:
Female.
5. Elementary:
Berry, Matthew Waley, and Armuchee.
6. Middle School:
Armuchee.
7. High School:
Armuchee.
8. Hair color:
Currently? Reddish.
9. Long or short:
It's getting longerrr!!!
10. Loud or Quiet:
Loud.
11. Sweats or Jeans:
My Gap lounge pants, thank you very much.
12. Phone or Camera:
Uhh. I have a phone. No camera, though.
13. Health freak:
Lately, yes.
14. Drink or Smoke?
I drink occasionally. No smoking.
15. Do you have a crush on someone?
Not anymore.
16. Eat or Drink:
Uhh.
17. Piercings:
9.
18. Tattoos;
Six.
HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Been in an airplane:
Yes.
20. Been in a relationship:
Yeah, but I fail at making them work.
21.Been in a car accident:
Hahaha. Oh, yes.
22. Been in a fist fight:
Yep.
FAVE'S
37. Food:
Lately? I'm loving a good salad. Of all time? Bacon. And now I can't eat it anymore. =[=[. I think that when I've been doing this for a year, I might reward myself with a tinsy piece of bacon.
38. Drinks:
Water. Tart lemonade.
39. Clothing:
Everyday: Jeans and Tee. Although, lately I'm trying to dress nicely.
40. Books:
Basically anything by JD Salinger.
41. Music:
Chill--Indie. Digging on The Fray a lot right now.
42. Flower:
Daffodils. =].
43. Singer:
Josh Groban. Is love.
44. Movies:
Stand By Me and Zoolander.
45. Positions:
I shant answer this.
46. Subjects:
Geology. Writing. History.
HAVE YOU EVER:
47. Kissed in the snow:
Negative.
48. Celebrated Halloween:
If partying counts, then sure.
49. Had your heart broken:
I've been rejected, sure.
50. Went over the minutes on your cell phone:
No.
51. Had Someone question your sexual orientation:
Oh, all the time. I'm the president of the gender equality group on campus and also very outspoken about gay rights. People constantly think I'm a lesbian. I'm not.
53. Gotten into a fight:
Yes.
54. Had a transformation:
Surely.
55. Done something you've regretted:
Only one.
56. Broke a promise:
Yes, sadly.
57. Hid a secret:
In my pocket. ;-].
58. Pretended to be happy:
Sure.
59. Met someone who changed your life:
A few.
60. Pretended to be sick:
Who hasn't?
61. Left the country:
Yes yes.
62. Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it:
Uhh. I don't know.
63. Cried over the silliest thing:
Pretty much all the time.
64. Ran a mile:
I run everyday.
65. Went to the beach with your best friend(s):
Yes.
66. Stayed single the whole year:
Story of my life.
CURRENTLY:
67. Eating:
Not yet.
68. Drinking:
Nothing.
69. I'm about to:
Eat dinner.
70. Listening to:
Elvis, my love.
71. Plans for today:
Today is basically over. I still have to wrap presents though!
72. Waiting for;
Tomorrow.
YOUR FUTURE:
73. Want kids?
Negative.
74. Want to get married?
We'll see.
75. Careers in mind:
I want to do everything. By that I mean: Book Editor, restuarant owner, geologist, singer, actress, great lover, happy.
IN THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same, if that's how things are for you):
76. Lips or eyes:
Green Eyes.
77. Shorter or taller?
Taller is generally what I would like.
78. Romantic or Spontaneous?
Romantically spontaneous. =].
79. Nice stomach or nice arms:
Ooh, both please.
80. Sensitive or loud:
Haha, oh, either.
81. Hook-up or relationship:
Relationship, although I suck at them.
82. Trouble-maker or hesitant:
Trouble-makers are the best.
HAVE YOU EVER:
83. Lost glasses/contacts
Oh, yes.
84. Ran away from home:
Yes.
85. Hold a gun/knife for self defense:
Jethro Gibbs, rule number 9: Never go anywhere without a knife. Thanks, Jethro, it's been handy.
86. Killed somebody:
NO NO NO.
87. Broken someone's heart:
Seems doubtful.
88. Cried when someone died:
Oh yes.
89. Cheated on someone:
No no no.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself:
I certainly try.
91. Miracles:
Sometimes.
92. Love at first sight:
No.
93. Heaven:
I believe I will be with God and people I love when I die.
94. Santa Claus:
No.
95. Sex on the first date:
No, thanks.
96. Kiss on the first date:
If it went well.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now?
I would give pretty much anything if Hannah could be here to see Christmas and her family this year. I saw her Granddaddy at my dad's church tonight and he is so full of love for everyone that it makes my heart so big. I miss her so much.
98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
I'm trying.
99. Do you believe in a God?
I do. I believe in a God that loves so greatly that us as man cannot even fathom it.
100. What religion do you identify as?
I don't. I'm a spiritual person who loves God. I'm not really sure what God that is, though. Just God.

The West Wing today.

Watching Season 1. I've forgotten how much I adore this show.

Jedd Bartlet is the man.

Also, Josh Lyman, anyone? Oh, yes please.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Thank God for Jethro Gibbs.

I watched two full seasons of NCIS today.

This is what I do when I don't want to think about anything.

Oh, Jethro, how I love you:

I love this one. He's so beautiful.


Lovely.


Look at that well dressed man right there.

Apparently I'm bored.

Your full name:
Sarah Anne Countryman

What does it mean?:
Pretty sure Sarah is Hebrew and means princess. I have no idea about Anne. Countryman is translated from Guntersmann and I have no idea what that means.

Your birthday:
August 10th.

Height:
5'5"

Eye colour:
Blue-grey.

Do you like it?:
I do.

Natural hair colour:
Dishwater brown.

Do you like it?:
No. If I did I probably wouldn't dye it as much.

Gender:
Female.

Religion:
Well, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Methodist. Me--I'm somewhere in between.

Have you ever changed religions?:
Oh, yeah.

Heritage:
German Jew from my mom's side, German and Scottish on my dad's.

Do you like your heritage?:
I suppose.

Where do you live?:
Rome. Fail.

Have you ever moved cities or countries?:
Yes. More than once.
Your job:
Berry College Foreign Language office. =].

Do you enjoy it?:
LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Favourites:

Movie:
Stand by Me and Zoolander.

TV show:
NCIS. Is life. The end. But, Friday Night Lights is a pretty close second.

TV character:
Leroy Jethro Gibbs. And Tim Riggins.

Movie character:
Teddy DuChamp [played by Corey Feldman in Stand By Me}

Book:
Franny and Zooey.

Literary character:
Franny Glass.

Author:
J.D. Salinger.

Band:
I go through phases. But, I suppose the steady is The Beatles. I'm on The Fray right now.

Song:
Ever? Which to Bury, Us or The Hatchet? by Relient K. Right now? Syndicate by The Fray.

Type of music:
Chill--Indie, it's called, I think?

Instrument:
Acoustic Guitar. =]. [And, boys that play them]

Cereal:
Kashi anything.

Fast food place:
I don't eat fast food.

Dessert:
Ginger snaps. =].

Country:
England.

City:
London. Is love.

Place to travel:
Richmond, VA.

Airline:
Uhh? I don't care.

Shampoo/conditioner:
Suave is what cleans best, I've found.

Lotion:
Dove.

Subject in school:
Probably science, actually.

Teacher:
Ever? Stephen Stuart. =]. Now? Mike Mejia.

Province:
Hahaha. Uhh, PEI.

State (if you're American):
Virginia.

Football team:
I could care less.

Hockey team:
Again.

Athlete:
Roger Federer.

Sport to play:
Soccer.

Sport to watch:
Soccer.

Fruit:
Pineapple.

Vegetable:
Asparagus.

Snack:
Pretzels.

Meal:
Uhh. Something seafood.

Restaurant:
I don't even know.

Grocery store:
UKROPS!!!

Have You Ever:
Gone on a blind date?:
Negative captain.

Flown in an airplane?:
Yes, lotsa.

Thrown up on an airplane?:
Nah.

Peed in the shower?:
Can't say that I have.

Peed your pants after you hit double digits?:
No.

Enjoyed Shakespeare?:
Oh, yes.

Been to the opera?:
Yes.

Been to the theatre?:
Yep.

Streaked?:
Big negative.

Seen a streaker?:
There was this one time with Ian and David... oh, dear.

Been mooned?:
Again--Ian.

Mooned someone?:
No no.

Flipped someone off?:
Oh, yeah.

Been in a fist fight?:
Yes.

Been drunk?:
Ha, I am 21.

Had alcohol poisoning?:
No.

Been walked in on while you're naked?:
No no.

Slept in a snowbank?:
No.

Made a snow angel?:
YES!

Lost any teeth?:
Yeah, I have five fake teeth.

Been in the hospital?:
Sure.

Been in a major accident?:
Yes.

Burnt yourself?:
Sure.

Passed out?:
Yeah.

Watched a soap opera you didn't understand?:
Hahahaha. Sure.

Prank called 911?:
That's illegal.

Made fun of emos?:
Hahah, all the time.

Acted like an emo, just to see what it's like?:
No. I've never cut myself or written bad poetry to get attention.

Cheated on a test?:
No.

Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?:
Negative.

Lied to get out of trouble?:
Who hasn't?

Started a fire?:
There was this one time with a barn...

Roasted a marshmallow?:
Yes.

Set a marshmallow on fire?:
That's the way to go.

How many times?:
Pretty much always.

Wanted to drop out of school?:
Oh, yeah.

Did you?:
No.

Randoms;
Are you single or dating?:
Singe. Feeling pretty damn single right now.

If single...do you like anyone?:
Ha.

If so, who?:
Stop.

Why?:
I hate this.

Do you have a chance with them?:
Oh, no.

If taken...who?:
No no no.

How long?:
Go die.

Are you happy?:
In life? Sure. Now? Ehh.

Last 4 digits of your phone number:
3747

Your house number:
6591

Why are you taking this survey?:
I'm bored.

What school do you go to?:
Berry.

Do you like it?:
Not really.

Your school colours?:
Silver and blue.

Your school teams' name?:
Our mascot is the Vikings.

Ever been on a sports team?:
Yes.

If yes, what was the name of it?:
Lady Indians soccer and Arsenal soccer.

Did you enjoy it?:
You betcha.

What do you want to be when you grow up?:
A book editor.

Why?:
It's what I like.

Any plans for the near future?:
Finishing college.

What are your views on capital punishment?:
No.

Nuclear weapons?:
Peace.

Euthanasia?:
Your choice.

The Canadian government?:
Peaceful. =].

The American government?:
I'm keepin' it Obama, thanks. =].

What was your favourite grade of elementary school?:
2nd. Mr. Beatty!

Why?:
I loved it. And, I learned about dinosaurs.

What are you wearing right now?:
My comfy pants and big tee.

Any particular reason why?:
I haven't gotten dressed today.

What was the last thing you ate?:
Soup.

If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?:
Yellow or Turquoise.

How are you feeling today?:
Ehh.

How many keys are on your keychain?:
Eight

What are they for?:
Mailbox, house, car, Richmond house [front and back door], my office, mom's car, Holly's house.

What does the room you're in look like?:
Uhh. Colorful.

Do you like the room?:
Yes, yes. It's my room.

Do you own an iPod?:
I do.

If yes, what kind?:
Nano, second generation.

Do you wear glasses or contacts?:
Everyday.

What's your view on laser eye surgery?:
I might do it someday.

Would you ever consider it?:
See above.

Weirdest thing about your parents:
Oh--I don't know.

What did you do this weekend?:
Saturday I was home for a random time. Then it was on to more adventures.

Was it enjoyable?:
I guess.

What's your greatest fear?:
Heights.

Your greatest strength?:
My love for others.

What country do you fear the most:
Right now? Sudan.

Have you ever been in a third-world country?:
Yes. Honduras.

Would you ever want to live in one?:
To help people, yes.

What song do you have stuck in your head right now?:
None.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I love my best friends.

That would be:
Joe Thornton.
Alli Woody.
Emma Harr.
Chelsea Knost.
Hannah Stuart.
and
Danny Riedy.

These six people pretty much make my life happy.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Best movie line ever.

"I got a permanent just for the occasion." -The Cowardly Lion, The Wizard of Oz.


AMAZING.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

I have an edit to make.

Remember down there ˇ when I said that I got an A- in Geology? Yeah, well, I was wrong.

It was actually an A.

That's right, folks.

Two As, an A-, and two [hopefully, if I do really well on my paper] Bs.

Best semester yet. Best semester yet. Here's to hoping I keep it up.

Tomorrow I'm off to Tam's for a few days before Christmas. Should be lotsa fun, I think. I'm getting excited about Christmas--even though I pretty much know what I'm getting. I'm just excited to get the stuff and actually use [wear] it. I'm also REALLLLLY excited about this AMAZING blazer I got for my dad from Gap that was originally $98 that I got for $50. Yep, half price, kids. I'm good like that. And, it's beautiful. It's grey herringbone and I love it. I really hope he does and that he wears it allll the time. =].

After Christmas it's on to that paper I've got hanging over me. I've got to actually read Spoon River so I know it. I have a pretty good idea of what my main idea will be. Well, really, I've got two ideas. 1. Comparing it to other naturalistic fiction like Frank Norris's McTeague and Stephen Crane's The Open Boat, and 2. comparing the arrangement Edgar Lee Masters intended the poems to be in versus the way that Charles Aidman arranged them in the play version and how the two arrangements play in to representing naturalism. Once I do some research I'll be able to figure out which one I want to do [or perhaps which one is easiest] and then I'll set to it.

I've been doing some reading [since I'm not having to kill myself by reading mundane things for class] and Lyndsay Ricketson bought me the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series for Christmas. If you don't know what this is, it's the book series that inspired the TV show True Blood, although they are very different from each other. Anyway, since Lynds bought the book for me I figured I would read it. I feel that I need to express how horrible the writing is. The plot or what very little of it there is, is actually interesting--however, it could have been written in about 20 pages. The book was about 250 pages, which means that 230 of them were fluffy play-by-plays. What I mean is that the author would take the time to describe every moment of everyday in Sookie's life, including bathing, brushing her teeth, and getting dressed. Needless to say, it got quite old very quickly. Now, being someone who is deeply rooted in descriptions when I write, you'd think that this wouldn't bother me--but the difference is is that mine are actually INTERESTING and perhaps even important to the plot. These--not so much. So, since there is this whole thing about me wanting to be an editor and all, I thought that perhaps I would go through and edit the book [which will certainly be interesting]. I wonder how many pages will be left when I'm done.

Now, I'm reading Nine Stories again for about the millionth time. =]. I love J.D. Salinger so very very much.

Well, I'm going to go do something productive. Perhaps I will reorganize my closet. It needs it.


--Edit 10:51pm:

Can I please have one well-dressed Taylor Kitsch for Christmas, please? Thanks.


Goodness Gracious.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Today is four years without Hannah and Gary Tillman.

I miss them so much I cannot even begin to describe.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I'm leaving tomorrow to go stay with Hannah for a week. I'm pretty pumped. Chattanooga funtimes!

So, today I straightened my hair [which I never do because 1. it's really bad for your hair, and 2. because my hair when it's flat really isn't all that attractive] to see how long it is. And, boy oh boy--it's getting long! I mean, it's still short, but for me it seems so long. Haha.
Crazy!

And, yes, I am wearing my totally badass Gryffindor track jacket. Thank you for asking.

P.S. I'm really loving the red hair. I hope I'm not the only again this time like with the dark hair fiasco from Freshman year.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Happy Chanukah, kids.

Start tonight at sundown.

=].

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I GOT AN A IN FICTION!!!!!!!

Excuse me while I contain my excitement.

Whaaaa!

Okay, I'm done.

Other than that--grades I've gotten are:

Spanish: B
Gender: A-
Geology: A-
Realism: Bah! After I write that damn paper over break I'm hoping to pull a B.

YESSS. Good semester.

I'm so close to being done, I can feel it.

I'm standing back and looking back over this semester and all that it has entailed and for the first time since my first semester of Freshman year, I'm satisfied. It's been a really good semester. There wasn't a single class that I absolutely hated. Spanish was definitely my least favorite, but it wasn't intolerable. As for the rest of my classes, I actually really enjoyed them. Fiction was, of course, my favorite. That class was absolutely amazing and I cannot wait until Advanced in the Spring. Geology was probably my second favorite--Dr. Jovanelly was amazing and I did really really well in that class, which is actually per usual for me and science classes [I really should have been some sort of science major. For real.] Then it was Gender. I did like that class because it's my jam, but there were parts of it that I struggled with and parts of it that I disagreed with. And, Realism--well, I'm not actually done with that class am I? Whatever.

All-in-all it's been a really great semester.

Now, I have to brace myself for the month that I'm about to endure. I can do this. I'll be spending time with some really great people all along the way and they'll make it so much better.

All right--I've got a paper to write. (A paper that I'm basically pulling out of nowhere. I'm good like that).

Love love.

SAC

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

My hair story.

Let's review:

Freshman year:
Long and really dark


Sophomore year:
Short and really blonde


Junior year:
Bald and really really short and whatever the hell my natural color is

[I really dislike this picture, but whatever]



Now:
Short and red


Haha. Oh, how funny. So that super dark thing from Freshman year. That was so horrible. Why did no one tell me how bad it looked?!

Monday, December 07, 2009

Spanish=DONE.

Sleep now. Then I'll finish that paper.

Then, it's Geology for Wednesday and I've got that.

The realism paper should be cinch. Due Thursday. It's only four pages and it's mostly opinion, so I'll be a-okay.

I cannot wait until my conference with Mejia on Thursday. I'm so excited. Is that weird?

Okay. I'm going to bed now, thanks.

Wow. I didn't really expect that to hurt the way it did. I sort of feel like I've been punched in the chest a million times.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Red hair, new computer, bestfriends.


So there was this one time I dyed my hair red. I like it.

Oh, and got a new computer. That was a good time, too.

Also, I love my mother. She's my best friend. And my driving force. And what's going to get me through the next month of my life.

8-10 page paper for Gender, go.

I'm writing about the gendered dress code in the workplace. Fascinating. Not.

I got this.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

I just realized!!!!

I'm going to PASS all of my classes!

Wow. Who would have thought I'd be so excited about that. Faulkner did a number on my academic confidenc though, so it's really great!

Monday, November 30, 2009

All right.

All is good.

Dr. Bucher was completely understanding of me needing to take an incomplete. Thank goodness.

As for the rest of my classes, I'm spot on.

-It looks like I'll pull a B in Spanish [which is great, considering how much I've struggled for whatever reason.] Test Wednesday, but I've been getting those grades higher, so I think I'll be all right.
-I should be able to get an A in Geology--I've gotten As on the first three tests, plus I've done really well on everything else. I've got my Lab final in about 30 minutes, but I so got this. And, the final shouldn't be bad either.
-I just got back my fairytale and my horror exercises in fiction. A- and A respectively! Oh, it makes me happy. Portfolio is due on Thursday, which means I've got to get that story edited and where I want it pronto. I may pull an A in the class. An A- at the least.
-I got a B+ on my second paper in Gender. Not as good as my A last time, but I'm not complaining. I knew it wasn't as good as the first one, but I mean, B+ is NOT bad by any means, especially in a 400 level Sociology class when I'm not even a Soc major. Depending on how well I rock this last paper [which I plan to] I'll get anywhere from a B+ to an A- in the class. I can live with that, I think.

So, aside from Realism and the incomplete and all that junk--this semester is wrapping up really nicely. And, I'm coming out of it with better grades than last semester [or even the one before that, for that matter].

I'm breathing, and that's good. =].

Two weeks, and then I'll be gone for four.

Love love.

SAC

Sunday, November 29, 2009

My life.

Is as follows.

1. I am going to have to take an incomplete in Realism due to the fact that my computer died over break, and I had no way to write my paper or do any research--in addition to the fact that I really didn't have any sort of access to the internet outside of the Panera in Harrisonburg, which was a half an hour away from our cabin. As we are FINALLY home, I am now in the library and have sent her an email telling her this. Oh, good.
2. I have a geology lab exam tomorrow. I'm not as worried as I should be. This is probably bad.
3. My grandmother [father's mother], who has only said two words to me in her entire life and who's never bothered to so much as send a birthday card, is coming to live with my parents. Which means:
4. I'm moving out. I'm not really sure what this means for over Christmas break. I'm hopefully going to Richmond, but it's looking more like I'll be staying a few days here and a few days there. I have good friends, though, so I think I'll be okay. In the Spring I'll be moving on to campus. Wherever they put me.
5. Remember that one time when I thought that last summer thought me about myself? I was wrong. This past week and the several weeks to come. Those will be what teach me about myself. They will be hard and long, but I'll make it. And, if I get lucky, I'll come out of everything a better person.

The end.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Dear all of Sarah's blog readers,

This is Danny Riedy. I'm sure you've all heard of me before. I'm Sarah's best friend. Right this moment we are in a Panera in Harrisonburg, VA, because it is the only place that has WiFi, and Sarah needs to do research for a project for one of her classes and a paper for another, or something. I can't remember. But, anyway, she ran away to the bathroom and so I hacked into her blog to say hello to all of you readers. I should go though, because she's usually pretty quick in the bathroom. Oh, and by the way, Panera has Mac-n-Cheese now. Who knew?

Love,

Danny

Sunday, November 22, 2009

TOMORROW.

All I have to do is get through tomorrow, and then I will be on my way to Virginia and to see my godparents and Danny.

No cellphone service [except when in town] and no internet. Life will be magical.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I love Emma Harr.

Yay for cheap food and $5 Margaritas. Yay for the philosphy section at Barnes and Noble and for books called FU Penguin. Yay for bonding over chick flicks and tearjerkers. Yay for discovering that we both love to lick the popcorn bag and making sure we had plenty of papertowels and ice water to combat the salt and butter. Yay for knowing that even when it feels like everyone else in the world is working against you, you have a friend who's standing there. Yay for a friend who's going through and who has gone through the same things you are, and who gets you. Yay for a friend who can listen and a friend who can talk. Yay for realizing that you don't have to do it alone.

Yay for realizing you don't have to do it alone.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Deadline: January.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I get workshopped tomorrow.

Goodness.

So, I just read back over my last few posts and it seems that they are all, save the one about Danny and Thanksgiving, pretty negative.

So, from now on, unless there is something really horrible going on, my posts will be as positive as humanly possible without going overboard.

Okay, that's all.

Have a nice day.

Remind me again why I thought college was right for me.

And, while you're at it maybe you could tell me why I thought being an English major was a good idea.

This has been one of the strangest weeks of my college career.

Not bad. Just strange.

Not to mention that I'm pretty sure my immune system has officially stopped working.

Five days. Five days. Five days.

Bah!

I just found out that Danny talked his parents into letting him come with my Godparents over to the cabin for Thanksgiving.

This WILL be a good Thanksgiving now for sure.

Yay for bestfriend time that is SO so so so needed.

I haven't seen him since AUGUST. Not okay.

FIVE DAYS. I got this.

This is not easy.

Monday, November 16, 2009

I am so unmotivated.

I want to run away from everything, please?

Okay, thanks.

I hope I can make it through this week without some sort of breakdown.

I am ONE week away from being in Virginia away from everything and everyone with no cell phone service and no internet. I need this.

I need to make it through this week. I have to believe I can.

Advantages to being sick:

Finishing my paper.
Shopping online for my parents anniversary gift.
Shopping online for an outfit for my parents anniversary dinner.
Planning my Christmas present for Alli. And, figuring out what I'm doing for Danny, Emily, Hannah, Emma, Joe, and Chelsea. And, possibly a few other people.
Watching all of season 1 of NCIS. [Oh, yes my friends, oh, yes].

Pretty much.

All right, I think it's naptime.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Too.

Much.

Work.

Guhh.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

So here's the thing.

I'm definitely at a point in my life where I'm okay being single. It's been this way for a while, actually. I'm not one of those girls who sits on her butt and waits for prince charming to come and mopes around because he hasn't yet. Fairy tales are not real. I love who I am and I love my life and I know that I would not compromise myself for a guy. I will continue to be who I am and I will continue to persue what I want out of life--and I will not stop for another person.

However. It would be damn nice to go on a date. You know? Be asked out, be told that I'm appreciated as more than a friend. Something. It would be nice. Hmmm.

Whatever. I won't die if doesn't happen. I'll be as happy as I am now. But, I wouldn't complain either.

Anyway--

I'm pretty sure today was the hardest day of the semester. I'm so glad it's over. I'm going to bed EARLY tonight.

Yay.

I'm done.

SAC

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Workshop paper=14 pages at present time... ANNND. I'm not done. Why is it that I write so much? My goal is to be under 20. Can it please be under 20? I would rather not have Mejia tell me for the 29437928347234 time that I've gone over limit too much.

I'm sorry.

Monday, November 09, 2009

I'm embarrassed to even be thinking about doing this.

Maybe it's what I need to do though.

Goodness.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

10 pages of my Workshop paper done! Thanks to word wars with Hannah. I have a TON of editing to do, and definitely so more actual writing to do, but I'm so glad that I have this much done, so that when I get back to it, which will likely not be for a couple of days considering how much I have to do, I won't have to start from scratch. That would suck. I'm not so sure I'm a huge fan of the story--which I suppose is where editing can come in. At this point I don't want to start over just because I really don't have time, so I'm going to try and make it go in a direction I like more so than I do now. Hopefully I'll actually like the final project.

I also wrote my Stand By Me paper for Gender, which was terribly fun to write. I hope I get an A on it like I did on my sponge paper. That would make my life.

So tomorrow is going to hellaciously long. With going non-stop from 9-6, and then the amount of homework I've got tomorrow night, I imagine that I might want to die--but I'll be all right.

I just need to tell myself that if I can get though this week without a severe mental breakdown then I am truly made of awesome.

I got this. Right? Right.

Anyway, I should work on my Spanish workbook for a while so that I don't have to do ALL of it on Tuesday night.

Night then.

SAC

Saturday, November 07, 2009

This week.

Is somewhat how I imagine hell to be like.

Due Monday:
Reading for Realism.
Lab report.
Paper for Gender.

Due Tuesday:
Study guide for Geology.

Due Wednesday:
Spanish test/Lab manual and Workbook due.
Reading for Realism.

Due Thursday:
Geology exam.
Workshop paper/3 critiques for Fiction.

Due Friday:
Reaction paper for Realism.

My life is wonderful.

Ha.

Tomorrow=writing my paper, doing my lab report, and reading. Oh, and doing laundry. Bah.

Now, however--as early as it is--I'm going to bed. I'm wiped.

New tattoo? Yes, I think so.



Mmmhmm.

But, it occurs to me that I still need to post pictures of my other latest. The celtic knot tree that is wonderful.

I'll get to it.

Now, bed.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

I write too much.

I don't mean that I write too often. I mean when I do write, that I write a lot of words. Too many sometimes.

I wonder why this is.

Sometimes they are important and other times they are not.

I cannot justify it one way or the other, though. I cannot say that it is good--because perhaps it is not. Short and sweet is the way to go, right? No, no, you see--everything is in the details. I'm big on details. Sometimes I get lost in them and have to dig my way back out.

I'm not sure if this is a problem. Description is something I so love to write. Weaving in and out and between the lines, getting into the thick of what I'm telling--that sometimes I believe that I cannot see the pages for lines [that, my friends is the literary version of "I cannot see the forest for the trees"--I am so creative]. I am like Tolkien in this respect. I could write an entire chapter in a novel about the history of a road and how it came to be and completely forget that Frodo must get the ring to Mount Doom before it is too late.

But, I cannot imagine my stories without these everlong tellings of nonsensical things. They are who I am. It is in my chapter long descriptions that I find who I truly am as a writer. It is true that perhaps they will be dispelled from the story eventually, but for now, I believe I find a small kind of creative solace in them.

They are routed in realism--I'm not too big on the abstract, not that I wouldn't love to be, I just I'm not too creative when it comes to such things--so, it is not that they are silly feelings or metaphors of blue-skyed souls. No, they are simply descriptions. Of a character, or a place, or an object. And they are long.

I wonder if this is a bad thing. I wonder if I will ever know. I wonder if I will always be lost in them. I wonder if I will always write too many words.

Oh, the adventure that is writing. I love it so.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

I should be reading McTeague. Instead I'm here.

Fail Sarah.

Anyway.

Today was lovely. I had a me day today. Rather than going to my only class of the day, Geology [which I'd never missed before today], I took a me day and went to Calhoun to the Outlets. It was very productive as I got two pairs of jeans a sweater at the Gap outlet. Wonderful.

Then, tonight, I watched NCIS with Hannah, of course. =]. Mike was on and it was fabulous. Oh, it's my love.

I know it was sort of a waste day, but it was good for my soul--especially after yesterday. I do believe that if I had to repeat yesterday for all of eternity--that would be hell. Except for last night--which was good. Erin and Caroline have decided that they are going to step down, since they are both graduating, and that Ashley and I are going to become co-presidents of EMPOWER now. Yay! =].

Well--I suppose I should read or something. Blah.

funtimes.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Awesome. Night.

I love Halloween. And friends who are amazing.

I also love when you make new wonderful friends that you know in a instant that you will forever be friends. It makes me smile a lot.

Also, the fact that everyone loved my costume tonight made my life. Yay for walking into my father's closet Sarah and walking out Dr. Countryman. I am brilliant.

Bed. Goodnight.

The end.

=].

Oh! A year ago today--as it is actually Nov. 1st now--I shaved my head. Damn straight.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Can a relationship last without honesty?
No no no.

Are you currently fighting with a friend?
I don't fight. I walk away peacefully.

Anywhere you wanna go on vacation to?
Ireland.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you for no apparent reason?
I'm sure. Whatever.

Are you listening to music right now?
No.

What song?
Blarrrg.

What are some lyrics from that song?
AAkjsdfhalskjdhf.

Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a someone that treated you badly?
Hahahaha. You bet.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant?
Yes.

Has anyone ever told you that you have really pretty eyes?
Yes, actually.

Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
No.

How often do you listen to music?
Everyday.

Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
Jeans.

Are you a social or antisocial person?
Social for sure.

Have the cops ever came to your house?
No.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with an F?
Negative.

Have you ever told someone you loved them?
Sure.

Did you even MEAN IT?
Whaaa. I mean, yes, but what's with the caps?

Do you really miss someone right now?
Everyday of my life.

Have you ever yelled at an authority figure?
Yes.

Name a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
Danny Riedy. Camran Caldwell.

How was your day?
Good--it's about to get awesome.

When is the last time you hugged someone?
Around 11ish?

Are you nice to everyone?
No.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
This weekend.

Have you ever been out of the state?
Lots of times.

Do you straighten your hair everyday?
No. I never do that.

Did you deny or accept your last friend request?
I don't remember.

How was September for you?
Dandy.

Who is your favorite person to talk to when you're down?
Danny.

Do you think age matters in a relationship?
Ehh.

What are you thinking about right now?
Life.

Have you ever been called beautiful?
Sure.

What are you wearing?
An Obama shirt. Word. But, I'm about to go change for tonight.

How much jewelry are you wearing?
None. I took everything out and off so I can do the blue body paint for tonight.

What did you do today?
Class. Work. Here. About to get ready for tonight's BCTC Halloween party.

Lyrics stuck in your head?
Nothing.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Homework & then party tomorrow night.

How did you get one of your scars?
I burned my face.

How did your night go last night?
It was fun. I did stuff with Chelsea and Jordan.

How did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Wal-Mart. Don't judge

How often do you see your best friend?
Emily--once a week or so? Danny--I haven't seen him since August. =[=[=[=[

How old do you want to be when you get married?
I'm not sure I want to get married at all.

How old will you be at your next birthday?
22.

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
Hahaha. Hasn't everyone?

Who was the last person you saw?
My mother.

Who did you last hug?
Brenna Conley.

Where did you sleep last night?
My bed.

Does the future scare you?
Yes and no.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
I used to think so.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A halloween type story, eh?

Owen James:

Five years later—five years after his passing, I thought I would write an account of my experience with Owen James—especially noting our last experience together—in the hopes that perhaps it will help in the understanding of what happened to him, not only for others but, for myself. I hope he will be remembered as the kind-hearted man and wonderful teacher he was. He was a close friend, and I know he changed my life. I believe it is possible that he changed other’s as well

I remember the first time I met Owen. He’d been my daughter’s freshman government teacher at Boston, and she loved his class. I was visiting on the Homecoming weekend, and he was the first person Jenny introduced me to.

“Dad! Dad, come here! I want you to meet Dr. James!” She was waving frantically from across the courtyard and pointing a man standing with her. He looked bit more rugged than any of the other professors I’d seen roaming around that day—but he wasn’t old. He was handsome in his own right, but he had more than a five o’clock shadow, and I could tell from where I was that he looked tired. When I arrived in front of them, I noticed that he had deep golden eyes—they were unlike anything I’d ever seen before. He also had large bags beneath them, which made him look worn out, as though he’d been awake for more than 24 hours.

“Hi,” I shook his hand. “I’m Jenny’s father, Henry. It’s nice to finally meet you. Jenny talks about you all the time.” As he pulled his hand back from mine, I noticed that his arm was rather hairy—I thought it nothing more than funny at the time.

“And, I am Dr. James,” he nodded. “I’m pleased to meet you as well. Your daughter is such a delight in class. It seems she knows a lot about what is going on in current events. I’m glad to know she was brought up with such a good foundation.” I saw my daughter beaming up at him, and could tell that she had a deep fondness for this man. Perhaps this should have bothered me, but something about Owen intrigued me.

After our initial meeting, Owen and I struck up a friendship. We spoke via e-mail, the occasional phone conversation, and we’d even venture out for drinks when I was up visiting Jenny. He was kind, personable, and a brilliant academic. It seemed we had a lot in common. The more I communicated with him the more I understood my daughter’s fondness and respect for him.

Over the years of Jenny’s college career, he and I grew closer, and eventually I came to think of him as one of my closest friends. Spring break of her senior year, we decided to invite him to our beach house in Cape Cod for the week. My wife, Amie, and I took the week off and we all headed over for a nice, relaxing week away from the world. As it was March, and still cold on the Cape, we didn’t spend a lot of time out on the beach, but time was spent around the fire playing cards, eating good food, and telling stories about ourselves. One day while we were eating lunch, Owen was telling a story about Jenny in class, and I realized that he never talked much about himself and that I didn’t really know anything about his life prior to his teaching at Boston. I’m not sure why it had taken me this long to realize this. I suppose it hadn’t mattered.

When he was finished telling the story about Jenny and all the laughter had died down, I looked over at Amie, and I could see that she was thinking about something—likely the same thing I’d been thinking about Owen. Before I could, and before I could stop her she asked, “Owen—why don’t you ever talk about your life before Boston? I feel as though we don’t know anything about you.” She laughed a little, to make it light hearted, but his face fell and he said quietly, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Sure there is!” Jamie smiled at him. “What about your parents? What happened to them?” Owen’s eyes were on his knees and he looked very uncomfortable.

“Amie,” I said sternly.

“What?” She looked at me, annoyed, and asked, “Is it so bad that I want to know a little more about our friend?”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it, okay? We have to respect him.” I could tell that she was annoyed with me, but she stopped pressing after that, and everyone dispersed from the lunch table. In the late afternoon, I proposed to Owen that he and I go for a walk on the beach. He agreed, but he looked somewhat reluctant, as though he assumed I was going to force him to talk about his former life—which he seemed to be holding on very tightly.

“Henry, thank you—about lunch—uh, I didn’t mean to create tension between anyone,” he said as we walked out onto the beach.

“It’s all right,” I smiled. “Owen—I’m sorry as well. We are your friends, and we know you now and we know you to be a good man. I hope that it didn’t seem as though we thought that you were hiding something from us, and we don’t mean to pry. I’ll be your friend whether you tell us about your life or not. I think Amie and Jenny will, too.”

He smiled at me and then we walked and talked about the current state of the government, academic bureaucracy at Boston, and where to find the best scotch—things we normally talked about. We walked a ways down the beach before turning around. I looked into the sky and noticed how beautiful it was.

“The sun is going down—I bet that the sunset will be beautiful,” I turned and looked at Owen expecting affirmation for my hypothesis, but instead he looked upset and scared.

“Owen? Are you all right?”

“Yeah—uh, is it a full moon tonight?” he asked and looked up at the sky.

“I’m not sure. I don’t tend to follow the moon cycle,” I answered. I laughed a little and then joked, “You’re not going to howl to it or anything, are you?” It seemed absurd and I expected him to laugh. His face was terror-stricken, and he didn’t seem to find what I had said amusing in the least.

“Owen, we’re on our way back to the house—we can go inside once we get there, if you want.” I said.

He looked at me with wide eyes and shook his head. “We’re too far away. Henry—run. Run as fast as you can back to the house, and when you get there, lock the house. Go—if you don’t, you will be hurt. I promise everything will be okay in the morning, but you need to go.” He had is hand on my shoulders and everything about his face told me that he was completely serious.

“Owen—you’re scaring me. What do you mean we don’t have time? What do you mean I’ll get hurt? We’re not that far away—I’m not going to just leave you on the beach by yourself.” He took his hands off my shoulders and shook his head.

“Go—Henry. I’m not kidding.” I could tell that he wasn’t—he looked over on the horizon where the sun was going down over the water. He looked back at me and pointed in the direction of the house.

“Henry. Go.”

So, I did. I ran as fast as the sand would allow me. I had no idea what was going to happen—but a million things were running through my mind: Who was Owen James? Who was this man that I called my friend? What was so terrible that I couldn’t be around him—or he couldn’t be around me? There was one thing I was refusing to let my mind think. And, it was the one thing that scared me the most. What if it was true?

As I rushed back into the house both Jenny and Amie were sitting at the table playing cards. As I turned around and locked the door as he’d told me to, they stared at me with frightened looks.

“Henry? Why are you out of breath? And why are you locking the door—we never lock the door? And were is Owen?” Amie asked me frantically. I looked at her—I didn’t know where to begin. What could I say to her to explain my behavior? I hardly knew myself.

“I think you two should sit down,” I said, and as they did, I began to recount what had happened with Owen on the beach. As I told them, the looks on their faces went from frightened to shocked and back again. When I finally caught my breath I got up and looked out the kitchen window and wondered what happened—what would happen—to Owen. I looked up into the now dark sky and saw the moon. It was indeed full. I was scared and nervous—I didn’t think I would be getting much sleep, so I made a cup of tea to calm my nerves. I thought about what Owen had said: “Everything will be okay in the morning.” Was that really true? I felt like I didn’t know him anymore, and I didn’t know if he’d be able to explain his actions, or if I’d be able to trust him again. I didn’t want him to be what I thought—but illogical as it seemed, it was the only explanation my mind provided me with.

In the next moment I heard a crashing noise outside the house—and what ensued following the noise, happened so quickly that I still wonder if it was real. A loud piercing scream came from the living room and looked over to see Jenny staring in terror at something outside. When Amie and I ran over to her and saw what she saw, it was as though everything that we’d ever believed in, everything we’d ever hoped for in life, everyone we’d ever cared for outside of the three of us didn’t matter—except what was in front of us. Standing and facing the three of us was a creature. A creature that had small remnants of torn clothing covering hair that seemed to consume it’s body, a creature who’s eyes were so bright golden that they seemed to be on fire—a creature that no matter how hideous, no matter how shocking, was still our friend. He moved closer, but we didn’t move back. He put his hand on the window, and for a moment he seemed docile and kind—almost as though he wasn’t the terrifying creature I knew I should be afraid of, but rather that of the family dog. One who cares for the family as much as the family cares for it.

“Dad,” I heard Jenny say somewhere in the distant corners of my mind. “Dad,” she said again, this time a little more clearly. I looked over at her and Amie and saw in their faces the same emotions I was feeling—the desire to be scared and to run away from the horrific creature in front of us, but the heart and the love of a friend, and the hope that perhaps he is still the person we know, however deep inside it may be, overcoming those wants and those fears.

“What Jenny?” I asked quietly.

“Is that Owen?”

I nodded in affirmation, and then looked back in his direction. Before any of us were able to react, before I was able to tell Jenny and Amie that even though we wanted him to be our friend, he probably wasn’t right now, the window crashed into a million pieces and the creature was standing over us, having knocked us down with the shear magnitude of it’s presence. His face became that of someone unrecognizable—this creature was no longer someone we knew and loved. He moved to stand over Jenny and Amie, and in the next moment, I didn’t think of anything other than protecting my family. After I somehow managed to stand up, I ran into the den where we kept a shotgun. We never used it—it had been my father’s, and I had always thought of it as being merely for show. Now, however, I needed it to save my family. I rushed back into the living room and pointed it at the creature that had once been my friend. Without a thought, I pulled the trigger. I know, to this day, that if I had thought about it, even for a second I wouldn’t have done it—and he would have killed Jenny or Amie. He fell backwards against the broken window into the shards of glass. As my wife and daughter ran over to where I stood, I looked over at the mangled body and saw that it was no longer that of the creature, but it was that of Owen James, my friend. In my killing of the creature, he’d changed back into his human form. Holding my family to me I started to cry, knowing that what we’d experienced had forever changed our lives—and knowing that I would miss my friend more than I could say.

I've been doing a bit of thinking lately.

It seems that I am at a point in my life where I need to do things for me. Selfish as it sounds, it's true. I realize that I'm sort of somewhat doing this already--by not really having a social life and focusing all my life's efforts into school. Good grades are nice, sure. And, in the long run, they are for me. But, that's not really what I mean.

I mean that other things I do need to be for me--at least right now. This is not to say that I will completely stop doing things for other people--again, not really what I mean. I will still be there for my friends when they need me, I will still pay for their lunch if they can't, I will write kind words on their facebook walls, and I will love them as much as I can. I am not going to walk away from everyone in my life, or anything like that.

What I mean is that I need to stop doing things that should be for me for other people. Things like, my diet, how much I exercise, what I wear or, how I act--things that are seemingly trivial, but inevitably tell me how I feel about myself. These things should be solely for me, and to be honest, right now they really aren't.

The reasons that I do these things are to impress others, or make them like me--whatever. This is not good. This is not to say that I don't also do these things for me--obviously my diet and exercise regiments are for my health, yes--but, I believe that my motivation is--and, yes this is me bearing my soul--"so other people will think I'm attractive and like me."

I don't want to be this shallow and I don't want to care what other people think about it. I KNOW it doesn't matter, and yet I let it tug at me. I suppose it's not as bad as it has been in the past, like in high school when all I wanted to do was fit it. Now, I realize that it's not important if I fit in or not--I have friends who love me and that's all I need. I don't tend to think as much about what I wear needing to impress some boy--again, like in high school when this was seemingly the most important thing about what I wore. I've realized that if someone actually likes me for me--he's not going to care what I wear--and also, that I don't need someone to like me to be happy. I've also grown out of pretending to be someone I'm not around certain people--I do try to be myself as much as possible around everyone, but I do still have insecurities and it is still hard for me to be one-hundred percent me all the time. I am only this person when I am with a very select people.

Having gone through all sorts of things in my life: sad, weird, horrible, happy, and even wonderful--I know I've grown into the person that I am, but I also know that I still have so much growing to do. And, I know that in order to do this growing, I must do things for me. I must learn to completely love myself and I must be my own motivation in life.

In light of recent events--sucky, stupid, painful events--I know that I will need to be my own soulmate--at least for the time being. It hurts, and I know that it's going to take some time for me to get over it, but it will be the time that I take in getting over the mountain that will also be the time when I will do the most growing. I will grow and I will learn to completely love who I am, and who I will become.

I believe that I will come out on top--I'm not there yet, and I have no idea how long it will take, but I will overcome. I also know that there are people in my life who will support me through everything, and I am so happy to call them my friends.

So--now I begin my journey down this road.

Monday, October 26, 2009

I love Dana Carvey.

I think he maybe one of the funniest people on Earth.


Oh, Church Lady.


He's so handsome. Tehe.